Sunday, March 29, 2009

What an end to the week. Sick babies. Not fun.

They both started with a cough and runny nose on Thursday. The 22 month old just stayed with a runny nose and cough. The 9th month old decided that was not enough. He started throwing up his formula Thursday evening. Saturday we decided to take him to the Urgent Care as he was still throwing up and spiked a fever.

We had our quickest urgent care visit ever. We were in and out with him in less than an hour and a half and that included x-rays. It turns out that he has an ear infection and a virus that has settled in his chest. Motrin, abx and instructions we were on our way out the door.

The little man is still not feeling that great. He just had his first bottle in 3 days that he has not thrown up. I am praying that he has turned the corner. I feel so bad for him. He starts coughing and the pain makes him cry. It turns into a vicious cycle that we have not been able to break.

We did get good news as our prayers were answered. We got permission from the babies birthmother to take them to Hilton Head with us. We are so thankful that we are going to be able to show them the beach and the sand. God has been so good to us in answering our prayers to take our foster kids on vacation with us.

Today marks 27 months since our sweet boy flew to heaven. We miss him everyday. His absence leaves a mark on everything we do. We still feel his presence everyday. Our God has been faithful in helping us through this horrible experience. We have had times since Kyle died that we have felt like GOD was not with us and terrible things have happened. Those have been very low times but GOD has proven over and over again that HE is at work in everything. Those situations have been resolved and opened new opportunities. I love how GOD takes the worse things that happen to us and have good come out of them. The devil must get tired of not being able to take advantage of the negative before GOD steps in to save the day!!!!

Please pray for all our friends that are awaiting transplant especially Brody and Matisse. Please pray for all those that are struggling. Pray for those considering abortion. Pray for those who do evil when they believe they are following God but are really being led by the devil.

A new look is coming soon to this blog!!!! I can't wait to share it with you.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

First Day without Kelsey

Kelsey is off at her first at back in a brick and mortar school aka not an online school. It has been a rough day emotionally. The house has not been this quiet since the months immediately following Kyle's death. Those days Rich was at work and Kelsey was in public school. The house does not seem "right" without lots of noise and chaos.

The babies are home but they are in hour three of their naps. They always go done for 2-4 hours and Kelsey and I usually enjoy our girl time together. We laugh at Little House on the Praire and What Not to Wear. Today without her here watching with me they have lost their magic.

I can't wait to see if Kelsey enjoyed her day at school. I pray that this school is the right fit for her. I know that she will benefit from the more structured learning environment and the social skill training they have through out the day.

Day One without her went amazing well from a logistically standpoint. I was able to work for about half and hour before the babies were up. I had everything ready for them and they were clothed and fed within thirty minutes. With full bellies and dry bottoms they played for almost 3 hours while I worked with only minimal interventions needed. They both had lunch and were in bed napping by noon. Not bad!!!!!

I am sure not all days are going to go this smoothly but I am grateful for this smooth transition day. Tomorrow will be different as I am driving Kelsey to school and then the babies have a visit.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

The week flew by. My work week was not the typical week. Last week was Ohio Graduation Testing week. Everyday last week I was administering the OGT for several hours. Not a big deal except that I had to have the kiddos at grandma's on the other side of town then back to close to home to administer the test then back to grandma's house. 3 hours worth of actual testing turned into 5 hours with all the traveling.

I am grateful that we have grandma and cousin Teresa to watch the kiddos. I don't worry about them when they are with family. The kids love playing at grandma's because she has cookies and toys that we don't have. The grass is definitely greener at grandma's.

Kelsey has finished her Freshman year at TDA and starts at Oakstone on Wednesday. I am so proud of her to have finished her Freshman year. She worked very hard and her grades were GREAT. I hope that she enjoys Oakstone. This will either be the perfect fit for her or it will be a disaster.

I pray that it is a perfect fit. The great news is that if it doesn't work out she can return to TDA in the Fall. She is excited to start Spanish. She wanted to take Latin but it is not offered. Kelsey is looking forward to swimming in the Oakstone pool and the volunteering opportunities they provide on Fridays.

We are halfway through the Lenten Season. To celebrate this mark we watched some really powerful movies this weekend. First, we watched The Boy is the Striped Pajamas. There was not a dry eye in the room. The ending was not what I expected. A very powerful movie with a great message. The second movie we watched was an older movie called The Scarlet and Black. It was another movie that takes place during WWII. It tells the story of Monsinoer that helps many POWs, and others escape from the Nazi's. Another powerful movie. Kelsey liked this movie so much that she has watched it again already.

Friday we went to the Fish Fry at church then we headed over to Stations of the Cross. Even though the kiddos had been fed and had dry diapers, they were not very quiet. We learned that Stations of the Cross is not the place for small children. Rich, Kelsey and I were still able to appreciate the Stations.

This week my goal is to attend at least one weekday Mass. Last week I was not able to attend the Parish Mission like I wanted. Hopefully, this week will be a little more quiet.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Slow Learner

I must admit that in some areas I am a very slow learner....

I always think that I can accomplish everything that I plan or set out to do. I have a hard time saying "no" when people ask me.

In the past two weeks, I have managed to say "no" twice. This may not seem like a big deal but for me it is. I told a friend I could not help her with a project because I needed to finish some things for my job. In the past I would have helped her and then been up late trying to catch up which would cause me to be very stressed.

I also skipped a meeting because I had some tasks my boss needed done by a certain time. I could have made the meeting and run around like a crazy women all afternoon to get everything done. That would have caused me to be stressed too the max.

It is a huge accomplishment for me to slow down. I know how fast kids grow up and change. If I spend so much time running around I am going to miss what is important. Kelsey is 15 and it seems to have gone by in a blink of an eye. I appreciate that she still likes to climb into my bed and watch a movie with me just like when she was little. I wonder how much longer she will want to do that.

This weekend Kelsey is gone to LifeTeen camp. The house is quiet without her. Rich and I are taking advantage for this time to clean out Kelsey's room and put the queen size bed into her room. She will be so excited to have the big bed in her room.

Rich is working in the basement cleaning it out. I made the mistake of going done there. He was sorting through Kyle's stuff. It was too much and I started crying. I still can't look at the stuff that was in his room when he passed away without crying.

Why can I look at pictures and not be sad but seeing his stuff makes me cry?!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Head Banger Church

Yesterday was Life Teen Mass or as Kyle called it Head Banger Church. The Mass is geared towards teenagers and a band plays the songs. The songs are not the typical songs we hear at church they are the songs played on our favorite Christain station 104.9 The River. This is why Kyle called it Head Banger Church.

Every time I go to a Life Teen Mass, I cry. I still picture Kyle getting into the music with a silly smile on his face. The Life Teen Services were his favorite.

Today the priest talked about how if you follow Christ two things will happen for sure. First, you will be called to go places you don't want. He used the example that Jesus had to go to the Cross even though he asked not to have this happen in the Garden of Gestheme. As Jesus put it though "Your will be done not mine".

As followers of Christ we have gone where we have not wanted to go. We have been to worst fear of every parent-watching their child die. We did not want to go there and asked if it could be otherwise. As Father Joe said if Christ took stock in polls then Kyle would still be here as we voted for him to stay. I am not sure there is a worse place to have to go and if I am lucky I will not find out.

The second thing the priest said will happen for sure is when you are called to the place you don't want to go God will be there for you. This we know for sure as I am not sure how we faced Kyle's impending death with the grace and love we did. I also know we would not have been able to accept Kyle's death without God's grace and love.

That does not mean that we like it. We still wish with all our hearts that God's plan would have been different but it wasn't. Even though we were forced into this place, we know that God was with us the entire time and is still with us.

Our prayer as a family is that we continue to see God's hand in all that happens to us and that we can embrace his plan.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Carwash trauma

Kelsey talked me into a carwash today while we were filling up the van.

She opted for the super deluxe wash-does that surprise me NO. Anyways we drive into the bay and put the car in park like it said. The prewash starts and then ends. Nothing happens and Kelsey and I figured the prewash had to sit for a minute.

We listened to Bring the Rain on the radio then song ends and the next song comes and goes and still nothing.

I am starting to get a little worried. I ask Kelsey to climb out of the car and run to Speedway office and let them know what was happening. She was afraid that the machine would start and she would be hurt.

I decide to try pulling forward as I was now late for my doctor's appointment. Bad choice as that closed the bay door that was open in front of us. The door behind had been closed the entire time.

Thankfully there was a phone number listed on the wall and the babies were sleeping. I called and after what seemed like forever the nice lady activated the cameras to see what was happened. It was a computer malfunction. I had to back the out in my big old van.

Such fun for the Noble's. I have never heard of anyone ever getting stuck in the car wash.

As we pulled away from the car wash, Praise You in the Storm came on. Kelsey's reply was "thanks Kyle for the drama. You always had a wicked sense of humor".

I made it to my appoint late but they saw me. I had another steroid shot this time guided by an ultrasound to get deep into the tendon. Hopefully, this will work. I can not work out at all for 5 days and then I am back to a modified program.

When I asked what that means, my doctor funny guy that he is said "if it hurts don't do it, if you think I would say no then don't do it and if you like it and it gives you an endorphin high then don't do it".

Gotta love the guy. I guess he knows me well after only 2 visits.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Changes

Kelsey had an interview at Oakstone Academy on Friday. It looks like she will be attending school there soon if everything works out. Kelsey finished her freshman science class today. She has now completed freshman english and science. She is close to finishing her american
studies class. She still has a way to go in algebra. Can you tell which class she likes the least?

We are hopeful Oakstone will work for her. She is happy at TDA but I worry about her social skills as they are not getting any better. At Oakstone they will work on that with her. She will finish up the year there to see if it is a good fit. By the time she starts she will have finished all of her freshman credits so she won't be behind if this does not work out.

Please pray that this is the best thing for her. It will be an adjustment for all of us. I have gotten use to her being home during the day. She is a big help with the babies.

Today while I was searching for a family picture I ran into some pictures of Kyle. These pictures were of the minutes preceding Kyle's death and pictures of us holding him after he died.I felt like I was stabbed in the heart and stomach. The tears came and I couldn't stop them. I had to run to the bathroom. I HATE those pictures. He looked soo BAD and I will be honest, I block out those pictures in my mind because they are NOT who Kyle WAS.

My boy was a happy go lucky kid with a smile on his face, a laugh coming out of his mouth and mischievous look in his eye. That is how I choose to remember him.
I don't know if there will ever come a day when I can look at those photos and not lose it. They say time heals all pain so maybe some day I will be able to look at those pictures and not cry......

Another action packed week here at our house. We are working on what we are going to do with Kyle's funds for the pain clinic. Rich and I are excited to be close to doing something with all the wonderful donations from everyone. We never got Kyle his pain free day but we will help other kids get the relief they deserve.

I am off to dinner with my college friends. I need to ask one of my friends for a favor. Our foster babies were tested and both quailfy for Help Me Grow services but the wait is 6 months. My friend teaches at the MRDD building that the 21 month would go to. Teh 21 month old quailified in both cognitive function and communication. I am hopeful that she will be able to get us in sooner. 6 months is a long time for these kids. The 8 month old needs PT and that I can get a script from his doctor for. I am hopeful he can start in the next 3 -4 weeks.

Please pray that we can get them the services they need as soon as possible. They are such a blessing to our family.